I meant to post about this last week but never got around to it. First of all, despite my last post on this subject, I’m not done teaching. I thought I might be, but I was wrong. It hit me at the 6th grade graduation at the end of the year. I wasn’t even planning on attending because I just wasn’t in the mood, but I did at the request of some of the 6th graders themselves. Teaching is what I want to do, and regardless of what one interview committee thought, I’m damn good at it. You can ask anyone else that works at the school. So I didn’t get the job I wanted, oh well. NO ONE tells me when I’m done, that’s my decision to make. I decided if I don’t have a job for next year, I might as well take the opportunity to finish up my next level license.

Last Monday I had a meeting with the head of the education dept. at UMD about student teaching in the spring. The interview is required to make sure that everything else that needs to be done is. I knew all I needed was one more class which I could take in the fall and then I’d be all set for the spring.

At least, that’s what I thought. See, I haven’t taken a class for a year. Within that year, they decided to restructure the education program and I was not informed. The original program had all graduate level courses except for the intro course, and none of those would count toward a Master’s, just for the teaching license. The new program replaced the original intro class with a graduate level one and allowed those courses to be carried over into the Master’s program. In fact, with the new program in place, I’d only have to take one more class after student teaching and I’d have my Master’s Degree…good news!!

Like a hero of mine (Randy Pausch) said, “The brick walls are not there to stop us, but to prove how much we want something.” My brick wall was not getting the job I’d earned, and when I decided to push forward anyway the universe responded and said, “Hey, you passed the test, now we’re gonna make it way easier to get your Master’s!!” Good universe.

However, the brick walls weren’t done. I was now required to take the new intro course as a replacement for the original. “OK,” I thought, “I’ll just take two in the spring.” I was then informed that the two courses I need were running on the same night at the same time. Go figure….but the universe intervened again on my behalf. That very day, the intro course had just had their first class for the summer session. It was being taught by the dept. head who I was discussing all this with. She remembered who I was from 2 or 3 years ago when I took the original intro class with her. Apparently I was a loudmouth or something. She told me I used to “go at it” with some of the other students. I can’t help it if I like to question everything. Anyway, there were no more spots left in the class, but she had one student who hadn’t shown up that day, and if she wasn’t there tomorrow then she’d automatically fail. I told her I’d be there at 9:00 am ready for class just in case.

I went the next morning and sat eagerly while students filed in. I had no idea who I was looking for so I just waited, tapping my foot nervously as I sat at my desk. 9:00 am rolled around, she closed the door and gave the thumbs up. I’m in!! Now I’m back on track to get this class done, take one in the fall, student teach in the spring, take one more class afterward and Master’s Degree completed!! Now can you dig that…

I wanted to take a few days to cool off before writing a post on this or else I would only have been subjecting you all to an angry, crazed rant. I’m sure some bitterness will still leak out here and there as I write, so don’t be too disappointed.

First, a little history…I started working at RMS about 4 years ago after catching the teaching bug from substituting and making the decision that the corporate world of design wasn’t for me. My gift has always been working with children, so I thought teaching elementary school was the best way to make use of this. My first year was trying, and I wasn’t being compensated well at all. I was working one-on-one with a 2nd grade boy who has Asperger’s Syndrome…no easy job. During the year a friend offered me a job making more than twice my current salary to resume my design career at Boston Scientific. While tempting, I’ve never been one to chase money instead of passion, so pursuing my teaching career is where I would stay. The next year led to a very slight pay increase and remaining with the same student through 3rd grade. I also started my classes to earn my teaching license. Year three is where I started getting a real taste of teaching, as my week was now spent with two days of teaching art and the remainder of the week as the permanent building sub, covering wherever I was needed. For a couple months while the art teacher was out on medical leave I taught art 5 days a week, certainly a good experience for one aspiring to get their own classroom. During this time I had many interviews for classrooms within the school, but never received one as I was not yet certified, so I understood and was happy to receive the experience of going through the process. Year four (this year) I’ve taken a slight pay decrease as now I only teach art once per week and spend the remainder as a “reading interventionist.” Again, I thought, great experience for an aspiring classroom teacher. I was also happy to take the decrease in pay as I thought it only temporary since I knew there would be three teachers retiring at the end of this school year. Certainly I would have earned one of those rooms with all of the experience I’d gained and time I’d put in here.

As this year started, I was already certified and had an early opportunity to get a classroom. As I’d written about before, our school was rocked with turmoil when a first grade teacher unexpectedly passed away. Her classroom was left vacant and needed to be filled quickly, so interviews took place. Of course I was included in this process. In the end I didn’t receive the job because it would be too difficult to find someone for the current positions I was in, despite the fact that I scored as high as anyone else during the interview process. I was disappointed, but again understood. Another opportunity arose as another teacher was injured and would be out for the remainder of the year. This time the interview process didn’t even happen; they simply placed someone in the room. Again, a little disappointed I wasn’t considered.

A few weeks ago the interview process began for the retiring teachers. With over 100 applicants for the classrooms, they narrowed it down to interview 20. I, of course, was one of the 20. Never feeling that an interview is my best time to shine, I came out of it thinking I’d done OK, but would move on because they were well aware of who I am and what I can do. I was right, and I was moved onto the next round. It was now down to 9, and we would have to teach lessons to the grade level they were considering us for. Despite my expressed desire to teach 2nd grade, they had me prepare and teach a 6th grade geometry lesson. I was very familiar with the kids in my class, and my lesson was solid in theory and execution. I was even told my classroom management skills were impressive. While debriefing about the lesson, I discussed my findings with the principal, telling him that it was perhaps a bit too easy for that grade level. Having no basis for what they already knew, I had to figure that out first from teaching this lesson, and in the future I would know how to make it more challenging. He agreed with me and accepted my explanation. I assumed that part of this process was to show that we could adapt, learn, and adjust based on the lesson itself. The debriefing would assess this and I came out feeling like I did very well showing that I knew what I was talking about.

Last Wednesday I got the news that I did not receive a classroom position for next year. My heart sank. I was told that my lesson “didn’t have the proper extension” and my interview wasn’t “as motivated as it had been in the past.” After interviewing and being denied positions four times in the past, should that be surprising? And if you want to talk about motivation, how about turning down a much more monetarily rewarding job to pursue a passion? It would appear that the only thing that was assessed was the interview and the sample lesson we taught. Apparently my four years of hard work for meager pay wasn’t part of the equation, nor my prior evaluations in which I was told I have an “unmatched rapport with the children.” I had thought I was doing things the right way. I came in on the ground level, paid my dues, and worked my way up. Doesn’t that earn me something? Guess not. Instead of a classroom, I am being offered my current position for next year with one change. The art teacher is returning to full time, so I would do reading intervention 5 days a week…and that would mean yet ANOTHER pay cut. I’m not willing to do the dance anymore, and I’m not willing to be their patsy. At this point I deserve more than that.

So here I am. It’s the last week of school…and most likely my last week at RMS. It’s been tough shifting so quickly in my mind from the idea that I would be making my career here to not being here at all. I’ll miss a lot of things about this place. It takes me a long time to become comfortable anywhere, and I had just started to make some friendships with co-workers. More than that I’ll miss the kids. When I was a sub in Plainville for just half a year it was tough leaving. Now I’ve known some of these kids for 4 years and after this Friday I have to leave them too…breaks my heart. They won’t be happy either when they return next year and I’m not around.

It’s not all negative though. I’ve started looking toward the future. Will I remain in teaching? I don’t know that yet. Right now I feel a bit jaded, even though this was only one school. I had planned on working with my friend Matt this summer one way or the other doing some personal training. I’m planning to get that certification now along with a certification in clinical hypnotherapy, something I’ve been very interested in as of late. Perhaps this is the next career move for me, or perhaps I’ll look around in other districts and return to teaching some day. I’m trying to focus on the excitement of something new instead of the disappointment of something lost. So far so good.

I normally don’t post things this long, but I’ve had a lot festering inside of me since this all went down and felt I needed to just let it all pour out. If you hung with me this far, thanks for caring that much. If not…well…you’re not reading this part anyway, so go screw. (told ya I’d get out a little anger)

Looking at my journal now, I realize I haven’t broken the job news yet. I now have a full-time job for the year working at Rochester Memorial School. I finally have a salary, paid holidays, and soon health insurance. Woohoo! I’m working in the Special Education department. In the morning I’m one-on-one with a 2nd grader who has Aspberger’s and in the afternoon with a 5th grader who has ADHD, diabetes, and behavioral issues. It’s challenging but it’ll better prepare me for the future as most classrooms are now integrated.

My long weekend was pretty busy. Friday night I headed up to Flash’s place to see him in a stand-up comedy show. I’ve seen him several times now to no disappointment. Friday night was a bore-fest however, but by no fault of his. He was getting heckled by some old lady in front of a crowd of 22, so he didn’t really give a shit about the set. Who would have? All the other comedians didn’t shine so well either. Some of the material was good but the mood just wasn’t there.

On Saturday we saw Waiting. Good to finally see Dane Cook on the big screen. It was pretty funny and had the feel of “even funnier with repetition” to it. Saturday night we both headed to Dedham for the NCW show. Flash was ring announcing and I had a match. It was a blasty. I hadn’t had that much fun at a wrestling event in awhile and I needed to. The ride was fun, the match was fun, hell it was even fun in the back. No pressure or nitpicking, just fun. That’s what I got into the ring for. I can’t wait until the show next month.

Sunday Flash and I headed over to Mikey & Stacey’s place to hang out. Originally Sunday was gonna be a trip to King Richard’s Fair, but the weather put a damper on that one. As usual, I had tons of fun hanging out in Southbridge, soon to be Northbridge as they’re moving next month. Monday was even better because now that myself and Mikey are working in schools, we were getting holiday pay for hanging out. Sweet nectar.

My job situation has taken a drastic turn pretty quickly. I started subbing at Rochester Elementary this past Friday. This week they’ve given me full time work in the Special Ed. department. Today I started working at the after-school program with one of the Special Ed. kids. Then the Asst. Principal told me today that she set up an interview for me this Friday morning for a long-term Special Ed. position. While I have to admit that Special Ed. wasn’t my first choice, it’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully everything works out and I can finally have a decent job.